News: The Porking Report
Latest Entries, page 1 of 41 pages
Titty Tuesday: Alison Brie
Titty Tuesday: Alison Brie
By Annie Eve   April 30, 2013

Today’s Titty Tuesday babe Alison Brie is very special: her perfect breasts have literally taken on a life of their own. There are entire websites dedicated to Alison Brie’s amazing boobs (yeah, websites, plural), countless articles praising their many talents , and there’s even a (fictional) monkey named after them.

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Pastor Encourages Congregation Members to Make-Out in Church
Pastor Encourages Congregation Members to Make-Out in Church
By Miles Holden   November 22, 2011

I agree with Kristin Hunt of Nerve magazine when she says: “Finally, someone has acknowledged the sensuality inherent in all church services. The organ music, the mustiness, the "God is watching you sinners" sentiments. It's pure sex is what it is […]”

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Bacon Lube: A Different Kind of Salty
Bacon Lube: A Different Kind of Salty
By Ron Ecstasy   November 16, 2011

Damn are we Advanced. We’ve got a lot of good memes going on in this culture of ours. Phenomenon’s so vast and so intellectually easy to digest  that they have almost universal  appeal. It’s pretty amazing that we’re at a point of interconnectivity that internet memes can even exist in the first place. Imagine, your mom “gets” Lolcats.  We’ve lately been routinely  going a step further by turning internet jokes into real, live saleable products. Of course it helps when he joke is in its self a product.

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Alternatives for the Words “Vagina” and “Penis”
Alternatives for the Words “Vagina” and “Penis”
By Miles Holden   November 16, 2011

Vagina is an awkward word, isn’t it? It certainly isn’t a sexy word; it doesn’t get the juices flowing like “pussy,” which is a word that always sounds moist to me, but did you know that on top of being awkward saying “vagina” is also sinful?

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Breaking News: Reagan Bad in Bed (not Faye)
Breaking News: Reagan Bad in Bed (not Faye)
By Ron Ecstasy   November 14, 2011

Ronald Reagan sure had some big missiles. Yessir the Gipper--in all of his wisdom--managed to spend the Soviets into oblivion and, some would say, play a large personal role in ending the cold war. That is, if you believe Reagan actually ever had any idea what the hell his aides and cabinet members were doing. I kid I kid.

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87 Year-Old Woman Shoots 88 Year-Old “Cheating” Husband
87 Year-Old Woman Shoots 88 Year-Old “Cheating” Husband
By Miles Holden   November 14, 2011

The world is full of nut jobs; full of nut jobs with cheating husbands. Unfortunately, the world is also full of nut jobs who own guns. On the up-side, we also live in a world where 88 year-olds have enough game to nab themselves a little nookie on the side, or so the story goes…

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Sasha Grey Responds to Pearl Clutching Sex Haters
Sasha Grey Responds to Pearl Clutching Sex Haters
By Ron Ecstasy   November 11, 2011

Here are the facts folks. Yes, despite the school's initial statement,Sasha Grey did in fact read to a group of 1st and 3rd graders at Emerson Elementary School in Los Angeles. And no, she ain't apologizing.

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Teens: Putting Vodka Soaked Tampons up Their  Pussies
Teens: Putting Vodka Soaked Tampons up Their Pussies
By Ron Ecstasy   November 11, 2011

Just what ARE those teenagers doing? Its a question that has haunted and assailed adults (such as myself) since the dawn of teen-dom. Sometmes they're on my lawn, taking dumps in paper bags. Other times I catch them necking in the alley like filthy little rats. Now all that stuff is well and good, but this latest trend is disgusting and vulgar. The teens are actually shoving vodka soaked tampons up their pussies and assholes.

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George Clooney Talks About Masturbation & His First Orgasm
George Clooney Talks About Masturbation & His First Orgasm
By Miles Holden   November 11, 2011

Everyone wants to know what famous actors do behind closed doors. Think about it, how much would you pay for a sex tape of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? That shit would fly off the shelves faster than copies of MW3 that DIDN'T cist $60, but some actors tend to go for the strong silent type persona.

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Vivid Launches Google TV Channel
Vivid Launches Google TV Channel
By Ron Ecstasy   November 10, 2011

Our comrades in cum Vivid have taken a bold step in thumbing their noses at normie media. The Los Angeles based company recently launched their application for Google TV, a set-top device that gives a user access to all of the video wonder the web has to offer,  but with the functionality of a proper cable setup.

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Latest Entries, page 1 of 41 pages