9 World Rules Porn Breaks

9 World Rules Porn Breaks

By Stefanie Saint on April 06, 2011

Yesterday we ate our lunch while watching some exceptionally gaping anal porn. Fist-like gaping. Not once did we flinch as we continued to shovel in our vending machine burrito. That’s when we came to the startling realization we may be a tad desensitized. With that in mind we wondered what else 8 hours of porn a day has done to shape our beliefs.  We’re saddened with our findings.  

1.  Underwear does exist. And women often wear them.


2.  Breasts don’t break free from blouses and dresses as often as they appear to.


3.  Gravity. It does exist and it’s not always pretty. 


4.  Sometimes, somewhere, when the moon is in Saturn there will be a moment when a woman does not feel like sex. At the very least she will go through the motions but roll her eyes and sigh heavily first.


5.  When caught masturbating not only will you be too embarrassed to invite the person catching you to join but no matter who they are, they will want to exit the room as quickly as possible.


6.  Anal sex on a conference room table right before a meeting is not a great idea.


7.  Threesomes rarely happen without alcohol.


8.  Revenge doesn’t always end with anal sex. Sometimes. But not always.


9.  There is no such job as a Slut Control Officer. We’ve checked. 


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