Alabama Confirms They’re Horny Rednecks This Valentine’s Day

Alabama Confirms They’re Horny Rednecks This Valentine’s Day

By Olive Day on February 10, 2011

A sex shop in Alabama has cracked Valentine’s Day during a recession conundrum in the most stereotypically American red neck way you could possibly imagine. They’re offering sex toys and gift cards in exchange for guns. Shop owner Sherri Williams told reporters:

"In today's economy, this is a way of helping people who may feel they can't afford something for Valentine's Day. This way, they can take something that's just lying around and swap it for something they can take home and make love, not war, with. I'm also in it to get guns off the street - to take them out of the hands of people who would potentially do harm with them, and put them in the hands of collectors. You never know, maybe there will be someone who says, 'I've got this gun that I could go rob a liquor store with, or maybe I can get me a blow-up doll for Valentine's Day instead."

Yes Sherri, that sounds like the profile of a person desperate enough to rob a liquor store! Actually, this whole gun and sex toy thing would be the best way to ditch a gun. Between ditching your gun in Alabama for sex toys, thenhopping over a few states to trade your bible for porn in Texas, one lucky NRA member could have the Valentine's Day of champions!

Screw the rest of this article, I’m off to rob some jewelry stores in Alabama...or get some sex toys! 

In case the idea of toys didn't warm those loins, guns will be auctioned at, and Williams said a portion of the profits will go to victims of violent crimes in Alabama through the Alabama Crime Victims' Compensation Commission.The offer is valid for one week until February 15 at Pleasures.

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