Ask Ron, Part 2

Ask Ron, Part 2

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By Ron Ecstasy on October 20, 2011

It's been a little while since the last time anybody asked Ron something. Usually at the Wendy’s they know my order (baked potato and saltines), and my daughter doesn’t talk to me anymore since she lost that child support suit. So it’s nice when I get mail from my readers asking about real stuff. Like “how much often push thru condome?” or “pussy or ass fart?”

I’ve just been here being myself. Still going to those support meetings, still blogging about how the world gets its rocks off, still falling asleep in the men’s room. Just being Ron. And you know, being Ron is alright. You know what else is alright? Helping people, so once again I’m going to take some time out of my busy day to give back. So semi-literate readers, here are your questions and there, right there, are my answers.

 

 how can i fire my sex life and make my wife like anal sex? 

When it comes to making your wife like anal sex, well that’s a tough one. First of all you shouldn’t think of it in terms of “making” her like it. Even if you introduce anal to her in a way that she’s comfortable with she could turn out to hate it. As one of my co-workers says “no matter ,what anal sex is like taking a reverse dump”. Some people just won’t like it, and deciding that you’ll “make” her sounds kinda rapey.

The first thing you ought to do is go out and read about anal sex, yeah read about it. Watch videos like this, and learn the mechanics of the act. If you think it’s just a matter of slipping your dick in there you’re dead wrong. Both the bottom and the top need to know what they’re doing, and just cockramming your thing up there is going to make the experience patently unpleasant.

The normal route towards anal fulfillment begins with fingers, toys and lots of lube. Play around, find things that she likes. Don’t be surprised if she has an ass-for-an-ass rule (lots of girls do). If that seems to work then maybe you can eventually stick your peen in her bum. Just so you know we’re not talking one session here, if you don’t want to put the time in to figure out how to please your partner then you probably shouldn’t be shoving your dick where it isn’t supposed to go in the first place.

 

i have a 12 inch penis but girls think its too big what can i do

 Homie, I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re not trolling me. There, I did it. I’m a nice guy.

 Now on to your giant cock.

 If you have a 12 inch dick we can only assume that it’s pretty thick as well. So this thing is likely to look more appropriate next to a piece of string cheese in a box under a Christmas tree than hanging from between your legs.

 The obvious answer to your problem is to not try and fuck chicks with the entire dick, I mean even if you’re only putting half of it in she’s probably plenty satisfied.

 The tiny-dicked among us may be surprised to know that for some girls, size doesn’t really matter. If you have a little pussy or a little body it can be pretty easy for even a normal sized dick to end up against the wall of the cervix, or otherwise be too painful to take all the way in.  If your complaint is that they won’t swallow the thing then I’m sorry dude, I don’t blame them.

 Much like the previous question the best you can do to prepare a girl for the massive fucking that such a wang can unleash is warm them up. By licking, fingers or toys; there are ways to get that pussy wet and internally expanded. It may take a while before you find a lady that can comfortably handle the entire thing, but I’m confident there are more than enough enthusiastic babes out there willing to give it a try.

For all Ron all the time Check out his twitter or his (my) completely non-Brazzers tumblr

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  • On June 24, 2013, Demius said...

    hello i have a sligthly above average dick (8 Inch) and im wouldnt say im all that bad looking not be conceited but i was wondering what you did to get started as a XXX star?

  • On March 18, 2013, blackops2frankwoods said...

    Very useful