Breaking News: Reagan Bad in Bed (not Faye)

Breaking News: Reagan Bad in Bed (not Faye)

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By Ron Ecstasy on November 14, 2011

Ronald Reagan sure had some big missiles. Yessir the Gipper--in all of his wisdom--managed to spend the Soviets into oblivion and, some would say, play a large personal role in ending the cold war. That is, if you believe Reagan actually ever had any idea what the hell his aides and cabinet members were doing. I kid I kid.

Apparently the “great communicator”, while he may have been good at convincing the Soviet Union to spend their way into “democracy”, wasn’t so good at talking to women, or at taking them for dates.

Actress Piper Laurie, claims to have slept with the former president waay back in 1950, when she was just a nubile lass of 18 and Reagan was a creepily older 39. Does it make things weirder if Reagan played her father in "Louisa", the film set on which they met? Just sayin’.

In the actress’s own words Reagan was a “show-off” and had sex with her “without grace.” Their date began wholesomely enough. Reagan even went to her parents beforehand to ask for permission to date her. Once permission was granted though, the date went sour.

Instead of taking young Laurie out on the town, he took her over to his abode and cooked the two of them hamburgers. When things turned intimate she says, his demeanor got even worse. After having done the act for 40 minutes (he lost no time in reminding her how long he had been ‘ardent’) Laurie complained she wasn’t satisfied. He then berated her, reminding Laurie of his ardentness, the cost of the condom and finally left her with this gem.

“There’s something wrong with you, You should have had many orgasms by now-after all this time. You’ve got to see a doctor.”

Way to go Gipper. Let that teen virgin know just how frigid she is! Being fair to Reagan though it was 1950, and enlightened modern-day folk might expect to hear much more horrifying details from the pre-feminist era. That he was a cheap date who was lame in bed is almost comforting to know, at least the future leader of the free world wasn’t a rapist!

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