Brooklyn Library says Watching Porn is Protected by 1st Amendment

Brooklyn Library says Watching Porn is Protected by 1st Amendment

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By Richard Johnson on April 28, 2011

Needing to get your fix of porn, but finding yourself without a computer or an internet connection, well fear no more. Simply head over to a Brooklyn public library where youʼll have access to all the necessary ingredients for a good time. Their unfiltered internet and open-minded staff ensure that library patrons have a wide open information super highway even if they are trying to discover what Debbie is doing in Dallas.

While the librarians arenʼt keen on their patrons taking advantage of library resources while pleasuring themselves, they are rather happy to still have patrons. When the scenes start to get especially heated, the library even provides privacy screens that prevent an audience from forming behind you.

Unfortunately, not all libraries are created equal. Since children have access to the computer labs in the Washington D.C. public libraries, porn is a no-no, but in Brooklyn the little ones are kept far far away from the keyboards so porn is a go-go. Other libraries are beginning to offer free wi-fi and private conference rooms which means patrons can have a little privacy and the library staff can choose to keep their head in the sand. However, other libraries are turning a bit more prude. After an unfortunate incident involving some large melons and a lot of moaning, the Los Angeles public library system has started to look into a way to filter out the tatas, so your mileage may vary. Luckily, in good old Brooklyn you can pop a boner in peace all thanks to the first amendment  which they've cited to adress the whole porn in the library issue.

First Amendment: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Sure being surrounded by musty books, crotchety old men and women with glasses isnʼt everybodyʼs idea of a good time, but everybody has their fetish and everybody needs to watch a good porn once in awhile. So the next time that your significant other tries to get you to visit the library, donʼt be so quick to come up with an excuse, a little computer research might be just what the doctor ordered.

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