Chubby Checker Sues HP Over Penis Size App

Chubby Checker Sues HP Over Penis Size App

By Willow Monroe on February 18, 2013

Cock. Woody. Pecker. Bone. Willy. Weiner. There’s many a name for the dick, as in hundreds, and as fast as you can say “fuck yeah,” there will be another, because if there’s one thing dudes never seem to tire of, it’s finding new names for their primary appendage.  In case you haven’t heard it before, here’s one more for you, chubby. It’s an oldy but a goody, and always brings to mind a nice thick dick, which if you’ve got a va-jay-jay (yes, we have our own nicknames for our parts), then you’d understand that girth often trumps length in what we look for in a penis. Anyway, all this to lead into the idea that from chubby, one could easily take a linguistic skip and a hop to chubby checker. Works for me anyway, and it also worked for an app released in September of last year for Palm devices.

 The application, using the moniker Chubby Checker, was designed for one purpose; to guess the dick size of a dude based on his shoe size. Never mind that there’s no truth whatsoever in the old-wives tale of there being a correlation between a man’s foot and his flesh rocket, the app designers were obviously appealing to the misinformed masses of America. Still, despite the pubescent air of the app, one would think that either the creators, or HP, who owns Palm and hosted the selling of the app, would have twigged that the name Chubby Checker is copyrighted material. Maybe they all thought the 60’s pop icon known for hit songs like “The Twist,” and “Limbo Rock,” was dead? But then again, I suspect they simply weren’t thinking at all.    


 So Chubby Checker the man, whose real name is Ernest Evans and is now 71, is suing HP for $500 million buckaroos, saying the app has done “irreparable damage” to his reputation.   A cease and desist order was filed and HP responded by removing the app immediately but now, Mr. Checker and his lawyers have launched a trademark infringement case against HP and Palm.

 According to the Associated Press, Chubby is “hurt,” as he “worked hard to build his name and reputation over the years.” Given that the app was removed, is no longer available for purchase,  and is believed to have been downloaded only 84 times, it seems clear that the pop icon is more hungry for a payout than he is hurt.  And why shouldn’t he milk this for all it’s worth? It’s the American way, after all. 

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