Contest Winner Will Tell Wife He Wants a Divorce Live On-Air For Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is coming up, and you know what that means? Wait, what day is it today? Is it today? No, it’s tomorrow, ya, it’s tomorrow. Wait, what time is it? I have to get to the drugstore before all the good chocolate is gone.

“I’m okay, Willow, I swear. Just ignore the panic attack I’m currently having. I’ll make it to the store in time. It’s fine.”

Willow is a sweet boss to work for (by which I mean she has nice tits), but man does she ever run a tight ships. No wonder she’s a fan of whips.

Now, where the fuck was I? Oh yeah, the wonder that is Valentine’s Day. Okay, not really. That holiday sucks, whether you’re alone or with someone, you always end-up stuffing your face with chocolate wishing you were somewhere else. And can you really call something a “holiday” when you don’t even get the day off? “Willow, put that whip away, I was only joking.”

If you’re bitter like me, you’ll love this story, or maybe cry at the state of humanity. It could really go both ways. You see, a radio station in New Zealand, The Rock, held a “win a divorce contest”. The winner, a man only known as “Sam,” will get to announce on air to his wife that he wants to divorce her ass on Valentine’s Day. In exchange the radio station will foot the bill for the divorce - as long as there are no children involved (how nice of them).

This may sound cruel, and it is. No really, it’s cruel as all hell, but “Sam,” using a disguised voice had this to say:

"This person probably expects it and will probably welcome it. This relationship is over. I'm not a heartless person. I would not do this if I was going to destroy someone's life. I wouldn't do this if I thought someone was going to be really hurt."

Yeah right, “Sam.” As if anyone wants to be thrown to the curb on Valentine’s Day, especially on the goddamn radio where everywhere gets to witness her humiliation. You’re right though, if you’re the kind of guy that will divorce your wife on-air, you’re not being cruel, you’re doing her the biggest favor in the world. Getting rid of an asshole like you is the best Valentine’s Day gift you could possibly give her.