Japanese Lap Pillows Make Me Sad

Japanese Lap Pillows Make Me Sad

By Olive Day on June 14, 2011

There are only a three things in the world that have to do with sex that make me sad.

  1. Glittery pink rubber dildos
  2. Women who use the word 'moist' during  foreplay
  3. Japanese Lap Pillows

While everyone in America was batting the evils of Creed and buying checkerboard Vans at Warped Tour in the early 2000’s, the terrifyingly sad Hizamakura Lap Pillows where all the rage in Japan.

Coming from a place known for their incredibly advanced sex dolls, it doesn’t really surprise me that these things would once be (and maybe still) popular in stores. “It's hard to tell what's alarming” Writes Cnet Asia correspondent Juniper Foo, “that there's now a Hizamakura Lap Pillow for desperately single men shaped like a woman's lap from the waist down with removable miniskirt, or that 3,000 units have been lapped up within weeks (first week of production) by men up to their 60s.” Produced in 2004, creator Mitsuo Takahashi believed that this product would aid with the loneliness some men suffer when it comes to intimate interaction with the opposite sex. Come to think of it, burying my face in a women’s lap is the only thing I really miss when I’m between relationships, so I guess the guy has a point.

 What makes this pillow even more hysterical is the fact that it comes with a ‘skirt’ that comes in two colors - black or red since guys that are buying these are really into that. While the original website for these awkward oddities has been shut down for reasons unknown, you are able to purchase your very own Lap Pillow for a cool $130 dollars American on Japan Trend Shop.

“Missing that special someone? Longing for the feeling of comfort and warmth you only from a woman’s lap? Maybe you just want to take a nap and need a pillow? Shaped just like a beautiful woman’s lap, kneeling in Japanese-style, the Hizamakura “Lap Pillow” gives the best re-creation available, complete with your choice of a red or black skirt to top it off. Hizamakura is soft and elastic to the touch, and perfectly suited to laying your head on. You’ll be surprised at how comfortable and real it feels!” (Japan Trend Shop)

If anyone wants to buy me one, I’m totally okay with it. As long as you buy them in pairs, so they can be used for watching television when I’m at home alone and a place for my cat to sleep. Oh, and don't buy a cheap knock off version of the lap pillow called 'the maid lap' or whatever, what would be the point of that?

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