One Man Sperm Donating Machine Has 82 Kids

One Man Sperm Donating Machine Has 82 Kids

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By Miles Holden on April 18, 2012

Ah shit, you guys all remember that dude who coined himself a “sexual donor,” because he was a virgin and got all of his sexual pleasure out of donating his spunk to needy couples? Well, turns out he’s not the only virgin with a bunch of kids and here I was thinking that Trent what’s his name was nuts for being a 36 year-old virgin with over a dozen kids. Yeah, that was nothing.

Dutchman Ed Houben, now 42 years-old, was a virgin until he was 34, but he has since been making up for lost time. In under a decade he’s managed to father 82 kids with ten more on the way.

I’ve been broke for the majority of my life and let me tell you there’s nothing like an empty fridge to get you to do things for money you wouldn’t consider doing on a full stomach. Of all the things I’ve done for quick cash though, I was never able to go through with donating my spunk for a quick 50 bucks. I don’t know why, but the thought of my progeny walking around out there like free range chickens just freaks me out.

Not all dudes feel the same way obviously, because sperm banks wouldn’t exist without strangers jizzing in a cup for the benefit of others, and that’s cool, because I’m all for helping people have babies if they want them. Thing is though, some folks just don’t know where to draw the line.

As much as I try not to judge people when it comes to sex, I can’t help but feel like there’s something really weird about a dude who has 82 kids. Sure, good ol’ Ed is making up for lost time and then some by fucking 15 childless women a month to bestow upon them the joy of parenthood, but seriously, 82 kids? That’s just weird.

All right, so he’s smart enough to do the whole medical record exchange before getting down to business, and he’s nice enough to give his spunk away for free and he’s lucky enough to have an above average sperm count, which makes him a popular dude among the childless set, but it’s hard to believe that this whole baby making business isn’t based on some sort of procreation/sexual fetish. I still can’t believe it; 82 kids, whoa!  

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