Top 5: Vagina Trees

Top 5: Vagina Trees

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By Miles Holden on November 28, 2011

Top 5: Vagina Trees

In the land before time, when magical creatures still roamed the earth there was a creature more mystical than the unicorn, a creature so rare even dragon slayers dared not believe in its existence.

The vagina tree, once rumored to house the secrets of Merlin, is no longer given the praise it so richly deserves. No, nowadays every manner of lowly creature hunts it down with their diabolical video cameras only to share their ridicule of the vagina tree with other humans on a place called YouTube.

5. The Magical Vagina Tree

Vagina trees are known for their magical powers: healing the blind, curing the sick, initiating young maidens to the secrets of the bed chamber. I’ve heard tale of such bounty being cut down and ground into fine powder to be sold as an aphrodisiac on the black market; an illegal action that has landed the vagina tree on the endangered species list.

4. Documentary on the Vagina Tree 

Once believed only to exist in myth this famed documentary tree has brought knowledge of the vagina tree to all of mankind; a striking blow to all of those who have vowed to protect its secrets.

3. Vagina Tree

Your garden variety vagina tree, not to be confused with the magical vagina tree, holds no power beside its bewitching beauty. Nice to look at, but will never heal the blind.

2. Vagina Tree – The Evil Dead Never Dies!

Not all vagina trees are made equal; the cursed vagina tree will ensnare you with its dangerous beauty and sap the life out of you before you even have the time to realize trouble is afoot. To be avoided at all cost!

1. Pierced Vagina Tree

By far the rarest and most magical of its kindred the pierced vagina tree is sought out by only the most hard-core of initiates. One must first tame the magical vagina tree before attempting to harness the sexual power of its pierced sister.

Images via buzzfeed.com

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  • On February 20, 2012, anonymous said...

    I’ve never seen a berubild here in CT. In MO, they’re all over the place. My parents have a berubild nesting at their MO home. Or I should say did. A black snake got into the box yesterday. It wasn’t a happy outcome for the baby birds.

  • On February 18, 2012, anonymous said...

    You bet. Since you didn’t alulacty get around to submitting, I had to select one of your Tree Year posts myself. That’s what happens, you see.

  • On December 06, 2011, anonymous said...

    I told my gnradmother how you helped. She said, “bake them a cake!”

  • On December 04, 2011, anonymous said...

    You have more useful info than the Brtisih had colonies pre-WWII.

  • On November 30, 2011, peachfish said...

    Amazing! I wonder where they got the giant clit ring?