Top Ten: Virgins in Pop Culture

Top Ten: Virgins in Pop Culture

comments
0
By Miles Holden on October 18, 2011

Ah virginity, the last bastion of innocence, the subplot that keeps viewers in the edge of their seats waiting for the moment their favorite character finally gives in to their baser urges.

What is it about someone’s first sexual experience that so enthrals the American public?

I don’t know, but maybe there’s a clue to be found in a list of America’s most beloved virgins. You tell me.

10. Jim Levenstein – American Pie

The image of Jim Levenstein making sweet love to a warm apple pie will forever be imprinted on the minds of teenagers for generations to come: spurring countless horny kids to find random things to stick their junk in.

9. Donnie – Donnie Darko

Getting laid might have done wonders for his sanity. Too bad he wasn’t hot for teacher. Drew Barrymore would have left a bigger impression in that movie had she played the Mrs. Robinson to Donnie’s Ben Braddock.

8. Andy Sitzer – The 40-Year-Old Virgin

We should all be so lucky to have a group of friends determined to get us laid. He did lose it, right? I know I’ve seen this movie, but all I can remember is Andy getting his chest waxed and then trying to put his bicycle in someone’s trunk.

7. Cher – Clueless

Like many Divas before her, Cher tried to lose her v-card to a hot gay guy without much success. You’d think his sense of style alone would have clued her in, but no, she had to be rejected so she could fall in the arms of her brother-in-law. This was a movie for teens, right?

6. Joey Potter – Dawson’s Creek

Before Katie Holmes became the wife of Tom Cruise and the mother of his spawn, she built her career playing the brown eyed girl from next door: the sexy brunette that would lose her virginity to her soul mate’s best friend.

5. George Michael Bluth – Arrested Development

Was I the only one hoping G.M.B. would lose it to his cousin? I don’t think so.

I hear there’s another season of Arrested Development in the works. Here’s hoping.

4. Donna Martin – 90210

The most unlikely virgin, Donna Martin played by Tori Spelling, cast as such, because her daddy ran the show. It would have been a little weird had he cast her as the town harlot. Not that that helped her any in her personal life.

3. Edward and Bella – Twilight

I get why Bella was a virgin. She’s was a teenage character written by a Mormon after all, but Edward I didn’t buy. Wasn’t he a hundred year old vampire? You’d think he would have gotten laid before meeting Bella. Talk about balls the size of watermelons. You know, from all the build-up of sperm.

2. Blair Waldorf – Gossip Girl

I’m not a teenage girl, nor do I have a girlfriend that makes me watch Gossip Girl so I’m not sure why this chick’s virginity is a big deal, but apparently it was. Whatever, she’s hot and young, I guess that’s reason enough.

1. Annie – Community

I love, love Annie from Community. She’s one of those chicks you don’t realise is super hot until you take a second look or they take their shirt off and then, bam, a bombshell is born.

The show keeps hinting at it, but I can’t wait for her to get in on with the show’s protagonist, Jeff.

Bonus: Britney Spears

I know, I know, unlike the other contenders in this list Britney Spears isn’t a fictional character, but she might as well be. Besides, you can’t round up everyone’s favorite virgins and not mention Britney Spears. Come on now, be honest, everyone was waiting for this little lady to turn eighteen and finally lose her cherry to Justin Timberlake. Imagine the money someone would have made off that sex tape? My knees get weak just thinking about it. 

Images Gallery

  • Jim Levinstein

  • Donnie Darko

  • Andy Sitzer

  • Cher

  • Joey Potter

  • George Michael Bluth

  • Donna Martin

  • Edward and Bella

  • Blair Waldorf

  • Annie

  • Britney Spears

Please login to submit comments