Want a Large Penis? There (was) an App for That.

Want a Large Penis? There (was) an App for That.

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By Olive Day on January 21, 2011

While Apple stands firm on its stance on  nudity in their app store, they had let everyone’s favorite spam e-mail, “PENIS ENLARGEMENT HYPNOSIS!!!! WOW!!! IT REALLY WORKS!” develop their own free app for their store. The app had promised that with a touch of a button, you would add the size and girth to your penis that you’ve always wished for all thanks to the power of hypnosis. Was this application too good to be true? I tested it on myself and my boyfriend a couple of months ago and neither of us had bigger penises by the end of the rather calming mantra, “your penis continues to grow. You are confident in your size. It is enlarging so you know; you know you will win the prize.” It may not have worked on me because I have a vagina and I don’t think my boyfriend was taking my investigative report too seriously so that is probably why it didn’t work on him either.

Unfortunately, Apple has  pulled the app from their store leaving many men with small penises. The makers are currently looking to develop another app for Blackberry or Android.

Although I'm very sad that Apple has pulled penis enlargement on the go, I've found a silver lining to this very dark and stormy cloud; I will no longer be uneasy around men on the metro listening to their iPods. For months I had been asking myself questions like, are they inducing a hypnotic state to grow their penis while they’re sitting beside me?  Should I give them more leg room? What if they fall asleep and the metro car fills up with their gigantic penis? Who developed this app? Who is the guy talking to me?

Until a new app is developed,  you can use this helpful YouTube video some guy recorded for a review of the application. Your small penis can thank me later when they are as big as Keiran Lee's.

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