We’re All Going to Die? Porn Triumphs Over Oral Sex

We’re All Going to Die? Porn Triumphs Over Oral Sex

By Richard's POV on November 09, 2010

Well, everyone is bound to die but I found out last week the specific way I'm (probably) going to die. Yup, you guessed it. Throat cancer!

From all the smoking, Richard? No, I wish! From all the oral sex!

These studies have been performed before with one in 2007 going as far as to say, "People who have had more than five oral-sex partners appear 250% more likely to have throat cancer than those who do not." However, another recent study has come out causing wide spread panic among oral lovers across the country. This one notes that an increase in throat cancer in younger patients can be attributed to a rise in oral sex - they already noted this increase in baby boomers, which is disturbing because it means our parents are perverts. Ew!

Anyway, if you want to protect your throat and you have orally pleasured less than five women the study recommends both men and women look into getting the HPV vaccine to protect against what appears to be the culprit behind the rise. It's too late for my throat and I but perhaps I can save yours.

On the bright side, for guys who don't like or want to perform oral sex, you now have science on your side. "Keeping it vaginal!" sounds like a catchy drug campaign add to me. Ah good old science, proving once again that porn is the safest of the sexes to engage in.

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