Where’s the Beef?

Where’s the Beef?

By Richard's POV on December 07, 2010

Apparently, according to a new study in the journal Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, which found boys who grew up in the country had larger penises than their city dwelling counterparts. Before I go any further, you may be wondering how penis studies are performed. I'll be honest, I have no idea but lucky for you, I do have a theory. Fellas, back me up here, you know how the doctor always tells you to turn your head and cough as he proceeds to fondle your manly parts? Exactly why do you have to turn your head? So he can measure your penis! Shocking revelation I know but don't worry. You can rest comfortably knowing I've already forwarded this information to To Catch A Predator's Chris Hansen.

Back to the story at hand, not only were country babies born with larger penises, this disparity continued as they got older. By the age of 19, considered the peak age of maturity - although some studies indicate a few lucky men keep "growing" until they're 21 - these country bumpkins measured in at a whopping 3.826 inches flaccid. I know that might not sound like a lot ladies, you judgmental harlots, but it is, however, larger than the 3.657 inches of those men from the city.

There is a catch! Scientists admit that less endowed males may have been embarrassed and opted out of the study, thus skewing results. Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night Small McPeterson's of the world.

If you are unfortunately not from the country and are still wondering if you have a large member most studies show that the average male is somewhere between 5.1 and 5.9 inches while erect and this appears most closely related to height. If you're too afraid to measure yourself, you can always go to your doctor, turn your head and cough, and ask him for the results. This is, of course, assuming my theory noted earlier is correct, which I'll admit, it probably is not.

In unrelated news ladies, Richard would like to state for the record that he was born and raised in a small country town in Texas, where the slogan is coincidentally, "Everything is bigger in Texas." Do with this information what you will.

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