Willow’s Bow and Arrow: When She Won’t Return Your Calls

Willow’s Bow and Arrow: When She Won’t Return Your Calls

By Willow Monroe on March 13, 2012

*The ideas expressed in this column are for informational and entertainment purposes only and are not a substitute for medical advice. 

Dear Willow,

I’ve been dating this girl for just over a month. Things seemed to be going really well (we have lots of stuff in common), but then we had sex for the first time last week, and now she’s stopped returning my calls and texts. I don’t know what I did wrong. I really like her and don’t know what happened. How can I get her to return my calls?


Re: Silverstud

The sad truth is you can’t get anyone to do anything they don’t really want to do. The best advice I can offer you is to accept that your crush isn’t interested anymore, and move on. I know. Easier said than done. I don’t want to seem curt or flippant, but in every relationship there comes a point when it has to be decided; am I in? Or am I out? Seems like the girl in question is opting for the latter choice, and instead of having the balls to tell you flat out, she’s hoping you’ll take the hint. Not cool by any means, but there you have it.

As for “what you did wrong,” without knowing the particulars of your situation, my best guess would have to be, not a damn thing. It’s easy for us to internalize rejection and make it mean something about ourselves, but the reality is, rejection is just a “no” answer, and says nothing about the kind of person you are, your likability, and/or level of attractiveness.

Who knows why your crush has chosen to opt out of seeing you further. I’m sure you’ve already theorized and speculated as to the myriad of possible reasons for her behavior, but please regard my words when I request you leave the detective work to Sherlock Holmes.

At the end of the day, whatever her reasons may be, the girl is giving you clear signs that she’s out, and in such a classless manner that I’m strongly inclined to think you’re better off without her.  No one deserves to be given the cold-shoulder without explanation.

 So, move onward and upward. Do what you need to do to let go (for me this often means writing out every last thing I wanted to say to the person, followed by gorging copious amount of chocolate), and set your sights forward as you traverse bravely into a more fulfilling future.



Send your questions about, sex, porn, dating, relationships, and anything else you'd like to have answered to willow@zzinsider.com


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