Woman Steals Ex’s Sperm & Sues Him for Child Support

Woman Steals Ex’s Sperm & Sues Him for Child Support

By Miles Holden on December 01, 2011

The entire world has gone mad. A woman stole her ex’s sperm from a used condom, got herself knocked up via in vitro fertilization (with twins), sued the guy for child support and won!

Let’s all take a moment of silence to let this craziness sink in… Yep… Almost there… Holy mother of god! What has the world come to? And I thought the world was bad when some random chick picked-up my brother for a one night stand just to get pregnant.

Watch out guys, make sure to flush your used condoms before some crazy lady snatches them from you to spread your seed all over her insides. You wouldn’t want your daughter tracking you down through Facebook fifteen years after the fact.

Of course the legal system works both ways, the sperm stealing ex-girlfriend might have won her case for child support, but the sap who’s now the father to a pair of twins is suing the in vitro clinic for using his stolen spunk in the first place.

I’m hoping he wins, then again, according to the blog Mommyish this dude might have had it coming to him:

“It’s not as if Pressil [baby daddy] is the only victim here. In February, he was charged for allegedly assaulting Anetria [baby mommy]. According to her affidavit, the alleged incident took place when she found a text from one of Pressil’s “lady friends,” along with “obscene, nude” picture from her and other women. She claims she tried to kick him out of the house but that he punched her, chocked her and then dragged her across the room.”

The moral of the story? The only way to punish violently abusive dudes is to spring babies on them. No, wait, that doesn’t sound right. The only way to punish violently abusive dudes is to sue them for child support after you steal their sperm. No, wait, that doesn’t sound right either. The only way to… Fuck it, I give up both of these people are nutcases. I pity their children.

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