Inanimate Porn: Unsettling Yet Satisfying

By Isaac on November 07, 2011

After a long day of work, most of us just want to unwind with whatever vice we may choose. For some it can be as simple as a long shower, or a cold beer. Others delve into the deepest, darkest corner of the internet and furiously jack off to the weirdest kind of porn they can find. I’m not suggesting that this ZZ-writer succumbs to such weird twisted pleasures, but just think – someone somewhere is jacking off to this video.

I’m positive the director intended on this video to be a funny satirical look at your typical porno; admittedly it’s hilarious and even a bit unsettling at times. He even goes as far as writing “Like all good pornography - there is no plot, the acting is terrible, and when you've finished watching it you'll feel mildly ashamed.”

This is totally true; he’s got the formula down pact. I’ve seen enough porno-montages that play out exactly like this. The director has just conveniently replaced people with inanimate objects. This leads to a bizarre alternate reality porno where these sex-less objects are gettin’ it on. I won’t spoil too much, because it really is an experience you have to take in first hand.  One thing you must do is remember this: wherever they may be, someone is jerking off to this and loving every single second of it – this is the highlight of his or her day.   

That being said, I’d like to tip my hat to the person that makes me feel normal in spite of every other weird idiosyncrasies I may have. Someone buy this guy or gal a drink.

Side-note: If you’re at work I’d recommend headphones, the pitch-shifted sex moans get loud. Also be sure to check out director Richard Hackney on Vimeo

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